Newsgroups: alt.magick
From: carlton@apollo.hp.com (Carl Hommel)
Subject: Facing faces
Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1992 16:16:26 GMT

"That is why first impressions are often correct."  -David Byrne

Have you ever photographed a friend, and found that the picture
doesn't look at all like them?  Looked in a mirror, and not recognized
the face you see?  Have you had the experience of unexpectedly meeting
a stranger, and *snap* suddenly you saw a friend?

Upon first glancing at stranger, you form a gestalt impression of
them.  Hair style, body language, muscular build, charisma, makeup,
etc all combine to broadcast a signal about that person to the
surroundings.  "Dress for Success" and other magickal tomes give
solid, practical advice on how to manuver tangible items to manage
that first impression.

But I'd like to talk about something else.

Long term couples tend to see a mental image of their partner, rather
than their actual physical body.  Their shared consensual reality is
relative to themselves.  In teen dating circles, this often leads to
conversations like,
    "How could you date that broad.  She's sooo gross!"
    "Huh?  What do you mean?  She's really beautiful."
or
    "Eeeyww, how can you stand him?  He's got zits everywhere!"
    "Huh?  What do you mean?  Its not that noticable."

Some people are able to project this non-physical face as a first
impression.  Their mental image of themselves is strong enough to
overwhelm onlookers' visual information.

That's what I'd like to talk about.

How do they do that?  Is it just affecting me, or do a lot of people
get swept up in the mental impression?  I'm now able to tell when this
kind of sight is hitting me, and can switch back an forth from the
perceived vision, to one that is more in accord with their physical
substance.

People who have this kind of mental camouflage almost always hate
having their picture taken.  They have heard over the years that the
photos look awful, and nothing at all like them.  Which is true,
because the camera can't see what most friends do.

It is possible to take sucessful pictures, because most people's
mental projections have at least some basis in their facial
structure.  You have to take a candid shot when the lighting is right,
they are thinking happy thoughts, the camera angle is perfect, and
their face has "fallen into" the appearance they usually portray.  You
also have to throw away a lot of film...

I was having a conversation with a friend, when all of a sudden, her
face got very fuzzy, and out of focus.  When I called her on it, she
said it was something she did around most people, but usually not
around me, because I accepted and befriended her without paying
attention to her facial disfigurements.  She turned it on and off
several times, but couldn't explain more concretely how it was
working.

The quotation at the top is from a wonderful Talking Heads song about
how people evolve their faces as they grow up.

Carl Hommel
carlton@apollo.hp.com